1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. It is crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. "Jaw-P?" means "Did ya'll go to the bathroom?"
6."Fixin' to" is one word.
7. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
8. Iced-tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
9.The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
10. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is; you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
11. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.
12. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
13. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and ketchup.
14. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages for local gossip and high school football.
15. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm."
16. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas.
