Add one female child aged five years to home with acute otitis media (approximately one week to full ripening for tympanostomy tubes). Stir in several doses of potty talk and typical parental exhaustion. Add one male three-years-ripe with a propensity for rhinorrhea. Scramble preparation with shared toys, mall play areas, school and playmates, and mix well. (Note: Avoid hand washing at all costs!)
Fold in one tired uber dad drizzled with a history of allergies, asthma and, most recently, pneumonia. Grate father's nerves with whining and whimpering children. In their prepared state, emulsify father and children in close proximity. Repeat, even if not desired.
Simmer and stew, stirring the pot frequently. Add mother with mild pharyngitis and fatigue. Steam family in bathroom at least one time daily, then extract.
Garnish with one serving of superbowl, snacks and disney/pixar, if necessary.
When all crests have fallen, wrap in warm blankets, place in bed with eyes shut tight, and try to forget tomorrow is Monday.
